TANG NEWS (Honolulu) -- Almost one year ago experts predicted Mount Ashlyn May would erupt. Well, the epic event finally took place on the island of O'ahu in the middle of the Pacific Ocean last month.
"A couple more of those bad boys and I can retire my knife," said Heather Tang, mother of the erupted.
Of course, we're talking about teeth here and not volcanoes. And the knife Mrs. Tang refers to, is the one she uses to cut up her first Born's food for easier mastication.
"You can call them teeth, or her baby tooth. But you could also call them her 'deciduous' teeth," explained the father, Jason Tang, a pretend dental expert. "Deciduous is derived from the Latin word decidere, which means to fall off or be shed, like leaves of a tree. You follow?"
(Sure. Whatever Mr. Fake DDS. You're just a poor sportscaster, deal with it. Back to the eruption.)
Mount Ashlyn's milestone was greeted with great joy by her family, especially since Doctors, including her two DDS Uncles, suggested getting her mouth x-rayed.
"Now, that would've been silly wouldn't it?" Questioned Mr. Tang. "If she had no teeth there, what were they going to do, make some baby dentures for her every few months?"
According to Dr. Bryan Horspool, DDS, that's exactly what they would've done.
"Well you see, even though I'm not a prosthodontist, or one who specializes in the mechanics of making artificial teeth, that definitely would've been a viable solution for the Tang's. Nyuk-Nyuk-Nyuk," said Dr. Horspool, bobbling his head left and right as he laughs.
Mr. Tang's oldest brother, Dr. Clarence Tang, DDS, and soon to be MD, (we think) was unavailable for comment as he has no life besides his school studies. A habit he can't seem to break after more than a dozen years in higher level education. Lame. However, what's important here is that Ashlyn's getting teeth.
"They better be some dang healthy ones too," said the former Heather Horspool. "Her teeth are like the Horspool family, always late but worth the wait."
How sad and true that is.
"A couple more of those bad boys and I can retire my knife," said Heather Tang, mother of the erupted.
Of course, we're talking about teeth here and not volcanoes. And the knife Mrs. Tang refers to, is the one she uses to cut up her first Born's food for easier mastication.
"You can call them teeth, or her baby tooth. But you could also call them her 'deciduous' teeth," explained the father, Jason Tang, a pretend dental expert. "Deciduous is derived from the Latin word decidere, which means to fall off or be shed, like leaves of a tree. You follow?"
(Sure. Whatever Mr. Fake DDS. You're just a poor sportscaster, deal with it. Back to the eruption.)
Mount Ashlyn's milestone was greeted with great joy by her family, especially since Doctors, including her two DDS Uncles, suggested getting her mouth x-rayed.
"Now, that would've been silly wouldn't it?" Questioned Mr. Tang. "If she had no teeth there, what were they going to do, make some baby dentures for her every few months?"
According to Dr. Bryan Horspool, DDS, that's exactly what they would've done.
"Well you see, even though I'm not a prosthodontist, or one who specializes in the mechanics of making artificial teeth, that definitely would've been a viable solution for the Tang's. Nyuk-Nyuk-Nyuk," said Dr. Horspool, bobbling his head left and right as he laughs.
Mr. Tang's oldest brother, Dr. Clarence Tang, DDS, and soon to be MD, (we think) was unavailable for comment as he has no life besides his school studies. A habit he can't seem to break after more than a dozen years in higher level education. Lame. However, what's important here is that Ashlyn's getting teeth.
"They better be some dang healthy ones too," said the former Heather Horspool. "Her teeth are like the Horspool family, always late but worth the wait."
How sad and true that is.
_______________________________
Editor's note: Everything in the story was pretty much fabricated except the fact Ashlyn has a tooth.
11 comments:
hahahahaha. that was a great news story! congrats on ashlyn's first tooth.... finally! a member of my bishopric said that teeth are stronger when they come in later... but then he said that could just be a rumor. well i thought i'd share anyway. well, i hope all the other teeth come in soon!
hurray!!!!
Wow, first I thought a volcano really erupted, then I thought Ashlyn was throwing up again, then I thought, "What is Heather doing with a knife?" I was happy to see that it was a celebration of Ashlyn's new tooth!
Personally, I thought the explosion would have to do with that bathtub shot from a while back...Then I realized Jason cracked open his bro's Dental Dictionary, which is always all sorts of HI-larious to me. I got to say that my favorite part of the video is when Jason corrects himself about the use of the toothbrush..."this is to brush your teeth...er, tooth!" Now that you've mastered the art of what a deciduous tooth is, I expect a full report on the art of succedaneous teeth.
I loved the story. I have always found Jason's tale's very entertaining. Thanks for the enlightenment. I hope Heather is having fun with a teething child!! Hope you guys are still doing well in sunny Hawaii!!
I was so confused at first! Brittney is so excited to come see you soon, she is so lucky!
Lovable
Amiable
Mo' money (well, actually not true now that I'm going to be in the Navy...)
Eat that you broadcasting bum!
Yay for Ashlyn! I hope she gets a few more so she can actually chew her food. I wonder what that's like for her- chewing with no teeth!?
Yay! We're so happy for all of you. We miss you but your funny blog posts make us happy. We liked your horse piece, Jason.
Congrats on the especially hilarious telling of Ashlyn's new tooth. My new blonde has mostly just made me really confused every time I look in the mirror. I'm pretty sure Ashlyn is having way more fun with her new tooth! (And getting a lot more attention for it!)
Finally! :)
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